I'm in Canton, Ohio at the home of a close friend, Shawn Frankly, I never knew how close we were until all this happened. Shawn is a photographer and we go back to around 1985 when he started his photography business. Now, he's one of the main photographers in Northeast Ohio. He's shot for all sorts of clients – ad agencies, magazines, companies, civic entities and others. Tomorrow, he'll start shooting the Pro FootballHall of Fame event. It's a gig he's done annually for the past 25+ years.
Shawn and his wife, Lisa, have been more than gracious. They took me in when they didn't have a reason to do so. I'm grateful to have a roof over my head.
My homelessness has provided me with new insights into gratitude, along with other insights. For example, I learned I don't really have a family. Sure, I have a biological mother, father and a sibling, but they don't want to know me. I'm not sure what I did but, apparently, it was bad. That's the thing. You try to do something good for folks and it backfires in your face. Nonetheless, I'll keep trying.
I'm looking for work. That's really a bit tougher than it seems. I'm trying to find some writing work on the Net. I don't have a car or work-type clothes, so focusing on working online seems like the sensible option. I had done quite a bit of writing for various Websites back in the day. But, they've all dried up and I'm back at the starting gate. So, it's trolling Craigslist, Indeed and Monster. I've gotten a couple of gigs but not enough to pay rent and such.
I am looking for an apartment. I'm not sure how I'll pay for it yet, but looking nonetheless. Foxhaven is a possibility. I used to live there a while back. It's a nice place and they have studio apartments for around $500/month. I can swing it if I can find a steady stream of writing gigs. Back to Craigslist, Indeed and Monster.
I can't help but think something will break … in a good way. I believe in karma and if I keep striving to do good, it will come back. I hope it doesn't come back and haunt me with a vengeance.
Right now, I feel pretty worthless. My family has tossed me aside. I can't find any work. I can do things that nobody, apparently, wants. I write. I design. Geez, I just re-read that and it really sounds pathetic. Speaking of karma, I must have done something really bad in a previous life.
I can't remember the last time I laughed or even smiled. The only thing I can do is keep on keeping on, try to be positive and look for opportunities. I've got an uphill battle to be what I once was.